Tonight, in your wordswife with dementia won't let me leave
She will not let me leave the house, and I have not been to my own doctor in a year.
You are 74. She came home from the stroke unit, or she has been drifting, and you are the only one in the house. Tonight you need four hours, and you do not know if you are allowed to hire a person just to sit with her.
This desk is a day sheet: what happens at 6 p.m., what happens at 2 a.m., and when to hand the job off so you can go to your own appointment. It does not call you a hero and it does not tell you how to feel.
Family Caregiver Alliance, citing the 2015 Caregiving in the U.S. study, reports that those caring for a spouse or partner spend 44.6 hours per week on caregiving tasks. Missouri names a kind of help that does not need a physician's order: private duty care, paid privately, for aide, respite, or companion help in the home.
Coffee, pills in her labeled box, the news on low. You are already on the clock.
Bathing and dressing. If your back is the lift, stop. Read the transfer article.
Therapy window, if she has one. Medicare home health is skilled and part-time, not a sitter until lunch.
Lunch. You eat standing up. A companion can take this hour if you write the shift that way.
The hard hours start. Restlessness as the light changes. Husbands call this sundowning. An evening shift is the most common first hire.
Handoff, if you hired one. Fifteen minutes of overlap. You walk out the door while she is still looking at the other person.
Bed and the hallway light. Many falls happen at home. Leave a bathroom light on.
The hallway again. If you have not slept in a week, overnight sitting is the job, not a luxury.
Start the sheet again. Put a name in the 6 p.m. box before you put another job in your own.
Print it. Write names in the 6 p.m. and 2 a.m. boxes. A blank box is a shift you are still doing yourself.
Three things to do before you go to bed
- Write the four hours you actually need. Doctor. Grocery. Be exact.
- Put her papers in one folder: discharge sheet, the clinic's medication list, a spare key.
- Call one number in the morning. Aging Ahead for the county. The city has its own door. Both are on the respite article.
NIA says caregivers are less likely than others to get preventive health services. That is the year you skipped your own doctor. The four hours are for that.
If she follows you from room to room, start with shadowing. If she came home from a stroke unit this month, start with the first two weeks. If the question is money, start with Medicare. Do not read all eight tonight.
The eight jobs, in the order the day goes
Each piece is written to the sentence men type at 2 a.m. Sources are public pages, checked 10 September 2026, on the sources page.
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In your wordswife with dementia won't let me leave
She won't let me out of her sight: what shadowing is, and how husbands get four hours back
She follows you everywhere. The handoff that lets a companion take the chair. Wandering at night lives here too.
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In your wordscaring for wife after stroke at home
Bringing your wife home from the stroke unit: the first two weeks
Discharge orders, the therapy schedule, what Medicare home health does, and what is on you between visits.
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In your wordsrespite care for spouse st louis
Respite care in St. Louis County: who offers it, who pays, how to ask
In-home hours, adult day programs, Aging Ahead, the city aging office, and the national locator.
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In your wordscan I hire someone just to sit with my wife
Someone to sit with her: what a companion caregiver does and does not do
Yes, that is a real job. How to write the four-hour shift, and where non-medical stops.
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In your wordshow to lift wife from bed safely
Your back is not a Hoyer lift: transfers, and when to stop doing it yourself
Ask the occupational therapist for a technique. A second set of hands is often the answer. No technique on this page.
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In your wordswhat happens if I get sick and I'm the caregiver
If I go down, who takes over: a backup plan for the sole caregiver
Who has a key, who knows the labeled box, which company already has her file. A plant-shutdown sheet.
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In your wordswife with dementia sundowning evenings what to do
Sundowning at our house: evening routines husbands can run
The 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. window. Why an evening shift is the most common first hire.
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In your wordsdoes medicare pay for someone to stay with my wife
Does Medicare pay for someone to stay with my wife? The straight answer
Mostly no. Then MO HealthNet, long-term care insurance, and VA pension if you served.
Tell us the town. Someone will Call you.
This form goes to New Plan Care, the paid placement above. Name, phone, town or ZIP. Nothing about her health. Or Call (314) 405-0887.
Do not type health details, diagnoses, or medications into this form. We will not ask for them on the phone either until you choose to talk.
Two other desks in this network If you are a daughter whose mother has died and the house is now your father's, Since Mom Died is written for that. If the person who needs help is a father who will not accept it, Dad Refuses Help walks that conversation.